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Its been Almost a Month
Feb 13 2012



Its been almost a month since my last post , isn't that how I started my last post??? OMG there is so much going on I am not even sure where to begin. How about..BDSM?

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It is on the back burner, the D/s is there, I still wear skirts, no panties, follow the rules ect, but the actual scenes are on the back burner. Why you ask? Well I picked up a kidney infection, over a week ago now. I couldn't figure out why my back hurt so much! I went to the Doctors and low and behold, a kidney infection, that has kicked my butt! And to make matters worse, the MS, has flared up due to the infection (it is how the disease works, kick them while they are down eh??) , so I am now feeling better infection wise, but I am so weak and shaky that even to vacuum the house wears me out! So there is no sex, no scenes, nothing happening on this end.

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I was reading precious treasures journal, the other day and she wrote about ALL or nothing. And 12 years ago when the disease was not as advanced, that was how we lived, but now. Well she wrote about being cold, and how her bra was hurting her, so she wanted to take her bra off, BUT its all or nothing in their home, either fully clothed, in what He likes her to wear, or fully naked. All or nothing. And I thought, (and I KNOW we have different lives) but I thought OMG I am so glad He isn't my Master, for if I get cold, I get sick, and if I am uncomfortable, the MS rears its head. You know, when you, as a healthy person, gets uncomfortable, so what, your body adapts to it. But with MS, if you tie my leg up the brain, the electrical impulses to the brain, the lesions on the brain, all cause my body to react..differently. So for me to get uncomfortable, could cause my legs to stop working for a few days, or the bladder to quit.

A few weeks back we tried The exposer ( exposer) and it was a disaster, I have alot of problems with my legs and bladder, so He gets me on it and ties up one of my legs, within seconds the other leg was in spasms, within minutes, both legs where in spasms, by the time he got me untied, I could barely walk. We are talking ten minutes..at most. Took me a week to recover from that.

It is funny how the Masters/Doms think they are in such control. but in reality, in my case, the control belongs to the disease, we just play along with what it allows and sometimes, like this recent infection, the disease..is a bitch.

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The Business, is insane, there is no other way to put it. We made more money in jan then most people make in a year. Seriously. We cannot keep up and are getting further and further behind and I am not sure what to do, do we hire yet another person? Do we keep plugging along knowing our slow (whatever that is) season is just around the corner? I am just not sure, I do know, I had a melt down in January, with W-2's and month end (dec) and quarter end (oct, nov, dec) and year end (jan to dec) plus all the regular stuff, oredering supplies, doing payroll, customers, invoices, PCI compliance, 1099K's, building new sites, maintaining old sites, yes I had a melt down and cried for a day. I am almost to the point where I think I need part time help in the office. Almost, but not quite.

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The kids are doing well, no complaints there, all of them are working, all of them are healthy, and yes Jess and Ryan are talking about KIDS, maybe just maybe we will have a pregnancy by the end of the year???? Maybe??? Aww how sweet would THAT be!!

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OK so that is it for me today I have real work to do, my journal, updating it, writing in it, etc, has become a luxury, when I have the spare time, which it seems..is never. Have a great one!



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