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Apologies and Q & A
March 16 2012



It feels like all I do on here is apologize for not posting. And I am becoming a broken record, repeating it over and over again, but really we are SO busy. My time has become so precious to me, and I have to prioritize. And yes excuses, I really need to just sit down..and write!

I have some Q&A's the first two are from a couple of months ago, I'm sorry it has taken me so long to reply. But here goes.

Q1= How come your company never vends at events? We have purchased from you before and love your products and would love to see you at an event.

A1 = Thank you for purchasing from us and I am glad you are enjoying your products. BDSM-gear.com Has been invited to events nation wide and unfortunately we always have to refuse. It is due to the MS and here are some facts form the MS Society page.

"stress can make any of us feel worse, whether by upsetting our stomachs or knotting our neck muscles. Many people with MS say they experience more symptoms during stressful times" When we do events, I stress, the stress of packing and getting everything ready to go, the stress of flying/driving ect.

"lack of sleep can result in increase in MS symptoms." and this too I have when on the road, the strange bed, the late night at events, the excitement. All boils down to me coming home, after vending at an event and being sick for a week. We just can't do it. However, we do advertise in many of their flyers and on their websites. And of course the best advertisement for us..is word of mouth!

Q2= You used to post frequent scene reports, now we rarely read about them. Is this due to a lack of scene between you and M?

Q2a = How come you never post pictures anymore?

Two sperate question but essentially one answer.


A2 = Trust me there is no problem between Master and I. Here is a little post I on made on fetlife the other day.


I thought, how cool it would be, to fuck in the two person Jacuzzi tub. I should know better then to entice Him. It started out fine, a little games, a little fun, a few pinches here and there. the hot water cascading over us, 8 jets pounding against our flesh, the Chromatherapy lights changing in the darkness... it was good all good.

But not good enough, He is sadistic and next thing I know I am under the water, His hands holding my head down as He takes what is His. letting me up gasping for air, clearing the water out of my nose, only to have Him push my head back under... gasping for air, sputtering water as He lets me breathes and then pushes me back under and

He takes what He owns.

It is nice to be His.


The day after that, I was bent over the bed as He tried out the new floggers (which are YUMMY btw) and then last night..well..another great night!

So why don't I post scene reports? Couple of reason, one I feel repetitive, its like he beat me he fucked me he used me..its good all good. Next my kids, when my son found the journal it is just..weird. Makes me uncomfortable. To see pictures and read reports about what dad and I do..like eww. I do not want to know what my parents are doing, its just..gross.

And the last reason, we are in the business and we have a lawyer on hand. When Bush was in office He formed what we all called "the porn patrol" Yes really google it. Bush made us all put 2257 laws on our sites, his administration and porn patrol busted people for *adult consensual porn*. Aww but you say "what are the chances" well alot higher then yours, the readers, and alot higher then susyq's journal. Being a business we have different rules to follow. I can hear you thinking aww but what is the chance of it happening to YOU. We live in POlk county, our Sheriff is adamantly arresting people on sex stings, from prostitution to possession of ADULT CONSENSUAL porn. I have written about is before, shared links of his latest *bust*. This is not a gay/bdsm/alternative lifestyle friendly community. So taken all that into account. It is just not worth it to us. You may get busted for something and have some public humiliation, maybe lose your job etc. I am an immigrant, until we become citizens (next year) we cannot get in trouble with the law. Hence, why we stopped posting all the smut. Occasionally, I will post something in the private journal but it is few and far between.

Q3= What is your one biggest fault?

A3= Sheesh you only want to hear one???? I am not sure which one is the biggest. But I will tell you the ones that bug me the most.

I am unforgiving. I can take alot of B/s, and it takes alot to get me to that point, but once there, that is it. Nothing you can say or do, will change my mind. I have had people, ex-friends apologize to me over and over again and I nod and say all the right things, but the friendship is done. Over with. I try, I do, but I honestly believe, that some people, love to much and therefore hurt too much. That's me.

Another big fault and even Master has commented on this..is my honesty. I am honest, always, if I don't like someone, I say, I do not like you. End of discussion leave me alone, move on. Look at our neighbors, I have told them straight up, they are pigs. Because they are. (Btw they brought in one of those HUGE dumpsters and filled it full of GARBAGE out of their yards. No kidding!) And the honesty isn't just focused on bad, but also on good, I will tell total stranger that they are pretty, I compliment people all the time on good traits. So it is not just bad, but it is both AND it is not just focused on other people, but also on myself. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to honesty.

My next biggest fault is I am very judgmental. Not so much in the lifestyle, to each their own right? But nothing irritates me more then hearing some moan and groan about a sore wrist, or they have the flu, or a cold. Shut the fuck up. You know I have MS, and I hurt every single day, some days, so much, that I lay in bed ALONE and cry. I do not want to bitch and whine to the world and neither should people with little aches and pains. I know people that suffer from debilitating migraines and they rarely whine, people suffering from MS or cancer, and you don't hear them whining. So why is it that normal healthy adults..whine? I quickly pass judgment on the, Also on welfare bums. Someone said to me a couple of months ago, "you have no idea how hard it is to raise a child" ohh boo hoo. I do. I was a single mom of two kids for years, worked full time, went to school full time and battled MS. Yes I do know, and you, are making excuses. get off your butt and do something with your life.

Harsh view isn't it? And a huge fault. but I cannot change how I think/feel. I have tried. Tried to understand the poor me mentality, and I can't. Hence the judgment.

Ok Last question for today.

Q4=Why don't you mentor?

I wasn't going to answer this question today, but it sort of went with my last statement "I cannot change how I think/feel." I have funny views on life. I guess. I think. See, I do not believe that you can mentor people to be "a dominant or a submissive." You either are or you are not. Period. Its like trying to teach me to be a public speaker, that is NOT going to happen, it is NOT my personality, I do not have the loudness nor the desire for the unwanted attention (unwanted in my opinion) You could mentor me all you want, I cold probably wing a presentation BUT, that would be it. I believe that about the lifestyle. You can teach someone to swing a flogger, or tie a rope. You cannot teach someone to be a submissive or a dominant. Hence why I don't mentor, nor have an interest in mentoring. To be, it is a part of you, it is your personality, just like some people talk loud, some talk soft, some laugh quickly, some are more serious and some, are truly submissive and some are not. If you try to be something you are not, then no amount of mentoring will ensure..success. To me it is a waste of time.

Gee I sound like a bitch in these Q&A's LOL. But really I am not. You asked I answered. Next set of questions are a little lighter and I promise I will get to them before the month is over.

Have a great day!



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