I was thinking last night, just how easy those two little words "Yes Master" slips from my lips. There is no thought to it, there is no fear, no worry, they just come and yet they hold
so much power. I think, they hold more power then 'I love you". There is so much meaning behind the words, trust, love, loyalty, devotion, submission, control, want, need, pain, sex, all rolled up into one. And I say "Yes Master" to Him, all the time
knowing that at any time, He can take those words, the meaning, the love and submission, all off it. And either use it to make us stronger, or destroy it. He has the power, and fortunately for us, Master ALWAYS, uses it for the good of our relationship.
No real reason for the above note, was just a thought..:)
My health, aww, lately I feel like I have an ANT colony breaking dancing in my feet and legs, it has been bad but it is bad, because of the bladder. The day before we left for Canada, I woke up with...drum roll... ANOTHER UTI! Off to see the Doctor and she gave me 60 tablets (30 days) of antibiotics and we discussed the urologist and surgery.
I so love our GP, she is the best. But with my fucked up bladder we are going to have to do something and most likely next year, we will do surgery, basically like a stomach staple but to my bladder. Since I have no real feeling in it (which is why the UTIs get SO bad for its not until they are real bad that I realize I have an infection) but therefore, the no feeling causes me to retain, Hold my pee, essentially, and in doing
so the bladder has stretched and stretched and stretched, like your stomach does. This stretching now cause the bladder to hold urine in it, and that urine..causes an infection. A vicious circle. Initially she thinks, the urologist will put me on a maintenance does of antibiotics, ie one pill a day for 6 months, but ultimately the bladder will have to be fixed. Not until next year though, I have too much on the go. Also, since I have been on meds for soooo long, (cipro over and over again, this time nitrofurotine) I am now, constantly battling
yeast infections. As Master says "You're broken."
So as you can imagine all these infections have played havoc with our sex life..as in..there is no vaginal/anal sex happening in this cunts home! Argh. Drives me insane. Master uses my mouth and I love it when he fucks my mouth like it is His cunt. Making me gag and choke, gets me all hot and bothered thinking about it and THAT is the problem, I am always walking around hot and bothered like a bitch in heat! No relief for me, I am HOPING next week He can use me, but what happens is, I am so hot and bothered and He is so hot and bothered that any sex we do is more vanilla then BDSM. so ya, one part gets satisfied but the other part, just grows and grows, like fungus on a tree! Sheesh I am asking Him to spank me, or hurt me, or DO SOMETHING, But
doing something means, I get all hot and bothered which means, no relief, and so it goes on...life sure sucks sometimes!
Canada WAS WONDERFUL!!!! Master got in FINALLY, all His paper work is in order ya ya ya!!! And it was so nice to see everyone and for Him to meet my family. We did alot of running around and I was/am so tired! It will take me a week to catch up on sleep and of course being tired means.....read above! The bladder acts up, the MS acts up and I get sick! But I am resting and trying very hard to stay healthy. I have pictures and more to post on Canada but will do it at a later date..:) in one BIG post!
The pets..OMFG! We have spent about a grand on them in the past month and I am SO tired of it! The kittens are doing well. but Bella has ringworm now and some sort of skin infection AND an severe ear infection. She cost us 300 bucks yesterday. And that's just for the ear and skin infection, we are not yet sure what we are going to do for the ringworm. Frig. A never ending battle this year between the pets and well me, the other pet..:) Seems we are ALL sick!
Ok so that is it for today..:) Time to do the fish and bird, go outside for a few, etc. Then come in and work, catch up from the trip to canada and of course fantasize about getting fucked, hard, its all I have right now...so it will have to do! Be well..:)