BDSM Terms and Definitions
hair bondage -- is a technique used in BDSM play which involves the restraint of a person's head by use of their long hair.
A rope or leather strap is secured to long hair that has been woven into a pigtail or ponytail. This rope is then fixed to another item of bondage, such as elbow bondage, the rear of a belt or corset, a knee tie, an ankle tie or a big toe tie. The rope is pulled, forcing the tied person's head backwards.
As with any bondage technique, it is possible to hurt and cause injury to the bound person if care is not used. Prolonged hair bondage often causes headaches and stiff necks.
handballing -- The sexual act of fisting
handcuffs -- are restraint devices designed to secure an individual's wrists close together. They comprise two halves, linked together by a chain or hinge. Each half has a rotating part which engages with a ratchet which is closed around a person's wrist. Without the key, the person cannot move their wrists more than a few inches apart, making many tasks difficult or impossible.
handkerchief code -- also known as the hanky code, bandana code or flagging is a way of indicating, usually among gay male casual sex seekers or BDSM practitioners in leather subculture in the US and Canada, whether they are a top or bottom, and what kind of sex they are seeking, by wearing cotton color-coded kerchiefs (bandanas), usually in the back pocket. This code was widely used in the 1970s, but is much less used today. The bandanas are worn on the left side of the body for tops and the right for bottoms (this division is still somewhat common: tops may wear keys on the left belt loop and bottoms on the right, for example), or sometimes are worn around the neck (tied on the right or left side). The bandanas may also be worn around the left or right side of one's belt. A Go Go dancer at a gay club may wear the bandanas around the right or left side of his g-string to indicate what kind of sex he is interested in if he meets someone after his performance.
The practice has largely (but not entirely) fallen out of use, perhaps due to the advent of internet dating and the coming out of more members of the leather and BDSM communities. Many, however, can still be seen wearing various colored bandanas at the Folsom Street Fair. It has also been noted to be increasing among young men in the sagging subculture.
hard limit (BDSM) -- Although limits are things that are not done in a scene in BDSM, play is often used as a way to expand on such limits. A hard limit, on the other hand, is an automatic pre-agreed line never to be crossed, as it would be a breach of acceptability.
Examples might be a person who has a medical condition or phobia, or would feel unable to handle some matters (since to the majority of practitioners, BDSM is based on mutual respect and exploration, underpinning the roles). Practitioners often make a light-hearted distinction between "good pain" (that which is erotic, beneficial, or valued to explore, such as being whipped) and "bad pain" (involuntary, non-stimulating pain, such as walking into a lamp-post or suffering a fever).
A minority view is that some people see all BDSM experience in the hands of a competent Dom as teaching limits and self-discipline, and therefore argue that this is a false distinction. Such people often do not believe in hard limits, arguing there should be total trust and no preset assumptions. They would instead tend to view the concept of hard limits as another example of topping from the bottom, that is, attempts by the sub to retain control and dictate to the Dom what dominance is or is not okay, rather than experiencing genuine surrender and allowing trust to direct the scene.
Janet Hardy -- is a writer and sex educator, and founder of Greenery Press.
harness gag -- is a device made of interconnected straps designed to encircle the human head, used in BDSM activities. The straps are generally secured by buckles that fasten at the back of the head. Head harnesses are most commonly used to provide points of attachments to secure various kinds of gags, such as ball gags, bit gags, muzzle gags and ring gags, although they also have other uses, such as providing attachment points for other forms of bondage, or may be used simply for their psychological effect. Head harnesses may also function as a gag by themselves, by restricting the ability to open the mouth, or have a mouth cover as an integral part.
head bondage-- in BDSM play, may refer to one of two techniques.
- It may refer to encasing the head in a bondage hood, or a head harness with blindfold and gag, possibly with a wide, stiff collar round the neck to restrict movement of the head.
- It may refer to pulling the head backwards by hair bondage or a rope attached to the back or top of a hood or head harness. It is also possible to use a rope attached to a blindfold or gag, but this is usually less secure and may cause excessive pressure on a small part of the face; in particular, with a gag, the corners of the mouth may be injured.
With the latter technique, severe or prolonged bondage usually causes a stiff neck and care is needed to avoid any permanent injury.
head harness -- is a device made of interconnected straps designed to encircle the human head, used in BDSM activities. The straps are generally secured by buckles that fasten at the back of the head. Head harnesses are most commonly used to provide points of attachments to secure various kinds of gags, such as ball gags, bit gags, muzzle gags and ring gags, although they also have other uses, such as providing attachment points for other forms of bondage, or may be used simply for their psychological effect. Head harnesses may also function as a gag by themselves, by restricting the ability to open the mouth, or have a mouth cover as an integral part.
William A. Henkin -- is a San Francisco, California based licensed marriage and family therapist, and a Board Certified Sex Therapist and Clinical Supervisor (American Board of Sexology). He is also the co-author of Consensual Sadomasochism (with Sybil Holiday), Bodywise (with Joseph Heller), and The Psychic Healing Book (with Amy Wallace).
Histoire d'O -- is an erotic novel published in 1954 about sadomasochism by French author Anne Desclos under the pen name Pauline Réage. Desclos did not reveal herself to be the author until shortly before her death, forty years after its initial publication. Desclos said that she had written the novel as a series of love letters to her lover Jean Paulhan who admired the work of the Marquis de Sade.
hobble skirt -- is a skirt with a seemingly narrowed hem that suggests the wearer is significantly impeded from taking a normal stride
hogtie bondage -- when used in sexual bondage play, is a bondage position involving the tying of a person's wrists and ankles in some form behind their back, in order to restrain them, possibly for further BDSM play. The hogtie is a complex bondage position; it can, and often does, involve many other aspects of bondage play and equipment.
House of Milan -- is a publisher of bondage magazines, run by fetish photographer Barbara Behr.
human furniture -- is a sub-set of bondage and sexual objectification in which a person's body is incorporated into a chair, table, cabinet or other piece of furniture..
human pony -- (also called petplay, ponyplay, ponyism or pup-play) is a form of erotic sexual role-play where one or more of the participants takes on the role of a real or imaginary animal in character, including appropriate mannerisms and behavior, and sometimes a partner will act as another animal, or in a sexual context may take the role of rider, trainer or caretaker (or sometimes breeding partner). The principal theme of human-animal roleplay is usually the voluntary or involuntary reduction (or transformation) of a human being to animal status, and focus on the altered mind-space created.
humbler (BDSM) -- is a BDSM "cock and ball torture" and physical restraint device used to restrict the movement of a submissive male participant in a BDSM scene.The humbler consists of a testicle cuff device that clamps around the base of the scrotum, mounted in the centre of a bar that passes behind the thighs at the base of the buttocks. This forces the wearer to keep his legs folded forward, as any attempt to straighten the legs even slightly pulls directly on the scrotum, causing considerable discomfort (extreme pain).
ice play -- is a form of temperature play that usually involves running pieces of ice across a person's naked skin. In popular culture the portrayal of ice on a female or male nipple can be sexually stimulating as the result the erection of the nipple tissue.
The Image -- is a 1975 French film. The film is also known by two other titles: The Punishment of Anne and The Mistress and the Slave and was directed by Radley Metzger
Imaginative Sex -- Exploration and satisfaction through the mental and spiritual aspects of sexual intercourse is the thesis of Imaginative Sex, John Norman's nonfiction 1974 work. As is perhaps expected, Norman's concept of the mental and spiritual involves generally male dominant/female submissive BDSM fantasy scenarios, of which the bulk of Imaginative Sex is devoted to.
impact play -- is a human sexual practice in which one person (the bottom) is struck (usually repeatedly) by another person (the top) for the sexual gratification of either or both parties. Impact play is sometimes referred to as percussion play, corporal punishment or CP. It is considered a form of BDSM.
There are number of activities that qualify as impact play.In erotic spanking the bottom is struck either with the top's open hand, or a rigid implement such a paddle, cane or riding crop. In the latter case the activity is often referred to as paddling, caning or cropping. The usual targets for spanking are the buttocks and inner or outer thighs.
In erotic flagellation the bottom is struck with a flexible implement such a whip or belt. Whips are classified by how many falls they have:
infantilism -- is the desire to wear diapers and be treated as a helpless infant. One who engages in infantilistic play is known as an adult baby (AB) or teen baby (TB), depending on age. About one in three adult babies is also a diaper lover so they are collectively known as. The majority of infantilists are heterosexual males
informed consent -- is a legal condition whereby a person can be said to have given consent based upon an appreciation and understanding of the facts and implications of an action.
Insex -- was one of the biggest BDSM pornography websites on the Internet and arguably the most extreme pornographic production featuring female submissives. It existed from 1997 to 2005 and was run by "Intersec Interactive Inc.", a company owned by the website's creator known as "PD". Insex developed a cult following among BDSM enthusiasts due to its uncommonly severe and realistic depiction of sadomasochistic practices. It was also known for its interactive "Live Feeds" which allowed members to make direct suggestions and requests.In late 2005, Insex ended the production of original material, citing increased pressure from conservatives within the US Justice Department as the main problem
International Mister Leather -- is an international conference and contest of leathermen and leatherwomen held annually since 1979 in Chicago, Illinois.
interrogation scene --is a form of BDSM roleplay in which the participants act out the parts of torturer and victim. As in real life torture chambers throughout the world over, the torturers uses threats, humiliation and physical pain to extract whatever information he believes the victim possesses. The game is over once the victim has broken and divulged his secret. The length and severity of the scene will vary according to the temperament of the players, but such scenes can be very prolonged and cruel. Dedicated players attempt to replicate the atmosphere of a real torture session and, as in real life, the victim can expect to be stripped naked, tied up, mocked and abused. The most popular method of loosening tongues is electric shock applied to the penis, testicles, clitoris, vagina and anus. Although it may seem distasteful to imitate real life human rights abuses, interrogation scenes are really about power exchange. By giving up all rights and friends to the torturer, the victim is able to test his or her courage as, nude and helpless, he or she attempts not to talk in the face of mounting pain.
intimate examination -- is an examination of someone's genitalia and anus, often with the intent of embarrassing or humiliating the person. It may involve handling and twisting of the penis and testicles. It is often part of a medical scene (in which case a speculum or other medical tool may be used) or a tie and tease, and may be a prelude to masturbation.
Japanese bondage -- Shibari is a Japanese verb that literally means "to tie" or "to bind" it is used in Japan to describe the artful use of twine to tie objects or packages. Kinbaku (緊縛, Kinbaku?) is the word for "bondage" or Kinbaku-bi which means "beautiful bondage". Kinbaku (also Sokubaku) is a Japanese style of sexual bondage or BDSM which involves tying up the bottom simple yet visually intricate patterns, usually with several pieces of thin rope (generally 6mm or 8mm). The word Shibari came in to common use in the west at some point in the 1990s to describe the bondage art Kinbaku.
Japanese Bondage is said to differ from Western bondage in that, instead of just immobilizing or restraining the bottom, the bottom gains pleasure from being under the pressure and strain of the ropes, squeezing the breasts or genitals—though there are examples of Western bondages enthusiasts such as John Willie.
Jay Wiseman -- is a prominent American BDSM writer, speaker and practitioner, best-known for the popular book, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction, which is considered to be one of the best introductory books on the subject.
Jennings gag -- device used to hold the patient's mouth open when working in the oral cavity, or to force the mouth open when it cannot open naturally because of forward dislocation of the jaw joint's intraarticular cartilage pad. Applications for medical gags include oral surgery and airway management. Gag designs, like other medical instrument designs, are often named after their invertors. Common examples of medical gags include the Jennings, Whitehead, and Hallam gags.
Kali's teeth bracelet -- often used as a form of chastity device (see chastity belts) for men. Consisting of a metal ring with blunt spikes on its inside surface, it is locked around the shaft of the flaccid penis. Made in size so that it is unable to come off when a man is not aroused, should he become partially erect, the spikes will press into the soft tissue of the penis, thus causing pain without damage and preventing the male from becoming fully aroused.
kink -- In sexuality, a kink is a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behavior.
kink-aware -- is a privately funded, non-profit service dedicated to providing the community with referrals to psychotherapeutic, medical, and legal professionals who are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality: BDSM, fetish, and the leather community.
Kink Aware Professionals -- s a privately funded, non-profit service dedicated to providing the community with referrals to psychotherapeutic, medical, and legal professionals who are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality: BDSM, fetish, and the leather community.
kink-friendly -- a friendly term used in the BDSM community to refer to someone else who also participates in BDSM activities. The Internet has had an enormous impact on facilitating communication among kinky people and bringing them together as well as raising awareness of kinks among those who would have otherwise never been exposed to them. This new awareness has begun to change the definition of what's kinky.
kinky -- Slang for sexual activity that is considered to be outside from the norm.
kinky sex -- is a mental health term recently used to indicate sexual arousal in response to sexual objects or situations which may interfere with the capacity for reciprocal affectionate sexual activity.
klismaphilia -- is the paraphilia of deriving sexual pleasure from enemas. Some practitioners in the sex industry offer enemas to cater to klismaphiliac desires. It is sometimes regarded as a form of anal masturbation. There are many movies, magazines and websites devoted specifically to this fetish
knife play -- is form of consensual BDSM edgeplay involving knives, daggers, and swords as a source of physical and mental stimulation. Knives are typically used to cut away clothing, scratch the skin, remove wax after wax play, or simply provide sensual stimulation. Knife play is sometimes, but not always, a form of fear play. Knife play can also be a form of temperature play or body modification. The 'victim' in some cases, is shown a sharp implement, and then blindfolded, and a blunt knife used on their skin. Usually sharp knives are used but for certain purposes special dull knives such as an oyster knife or a butter knife may be used for a mindfuck (for example: the practice of insertive sex play without the certain knowledge of the submissive that an exchange of implements—blunt for sharp—has occurred. This is a form of fear play, yet it still maintains safety).
Knife play itself is quite broad. Such scenes can include anything from slowly and sensually scraping wax off a body or moving a blade along the persons skin without cutting them to role play where the fantasy abductor slices off the (willing) victim's clothing. Knife play can also break the skin, either for light scratches or deep cuts meant to scar.
For many knifeplay can be highly erotic, as the physical and psychological reactions can be intense. It is also an activity that takes a great amount of care to learn properly. As with any sort of edge play that can potentially draw blood, there is the risk of passing diseases along. Also, there is the risk of cutting the wrong spot and causing excessive blood loss, or accidental stabbing.
Leather Archives and Museum -- based in the Rogers Park neighborhood of Chicago, USA, has much information and details on the beginning of the leather subculture and BDSM community
leather culture -- typically includes both a style of dress and an affiliation with BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sado/Masochism, also called "SM") practice. Both the style of dress and the kinds of BDSM activities characteristic of a community may differ between gay, lesbian, and straight communities, and between Old Guard and newer generations of players. While most people who engage in the leather culture style of dress are also affiliated with BDSM practice, not all BDSM practitioners wear leather culture apparel.
leather fetishism -- is the name popularly used to describe a fetishistic attraction to people wearing leather, or in certain cases, to the garments themselves. One reason why leather may be fetishized is perhaps that the garment forms a "second skin" that acts as a fetishistic surrogate for the wearer's own skin. This is heightened by the fact that the leather was originally animal skin. The smell of the leather and the creaking noises it makes is often an erotic stimulus for people who fetishize leather. Leather uniforms are also fetishized. The combination of leather with the uniform's symbolism of authority and power. The organization BLUF is a mostly homosexual group focused on the combination of leather and uniforms.
leatherfolk -- typically includes both a style of dress and an affiliation with BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sado/Masochism, also called "SM") practice. Both the style of dress and the kinds of BDSM activities characteristic of a community may differ between gay, lesbian, and straight communities, and between Old Guard and newer generations of players. While most people who engage in the leather culture style of dress are also affiliated with BDSM practice, not all BDSM practitioners wear leather culture apparel.
Leather Pride Flag --is a symbol for the Leather subculture and also widely used within BDSM.The flag was designed by Tony DeBlase, and he first presented the design at the International Mr. Leather event in Chicago, Illinois, USA on May 28, 1989. The original prototype flag is now on display at the Leather Archives and Museum in Chicago. Although the flag is also common in the gay community, it is not an exclusively gay symbol and represents the entire leather community.
leg spreaders -- is a physical restraint used in bondage play. It is a stiff bar typically two to three feet (sixty to ninety cm) long with attachment points for restraints at each end. They may include extra attachment points along their length for collars, suspension play, or as anchoring points for ropes or chains. Not all spreader bars are designed to take the weight of a person however.
Some spreader bars can telescope so their length can be varied. Such bars are usually less strong than ordinary ones Worn on the wrists, a spreader bar serves to hold the arms spread away from the body. On the ankles, or between the knees, it immobilizes the wearer by preventing all but the most awkward walking while spreading the legs and allowing free access to the wearer's crotch. A pair of spreader bars may hold the wearer in a spreadeagle position. If there are bars between the knees and between the ankles, the wearer may be forced to bend their knees, making walking even harder.
A spreader bar that fastens to the neck and wrists is a yoke.
Le lien -- This is an autobiographical story. It tells the story of Laika, a young student, who is initiated to BDSM and then her evolution as a slave, and also of her growing love relationship with her master, Pierre. It also provides some insight into the devastating effects of the revelation of her sexual orientation on her relationship with her parents.
LGBT -- is an initialism used as a collective term to refer to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender people. It is an adaptation of the initialism LGB. While still controversial (see Controversy below), it is considered less controversial than the terms queer or lesbigay and is more comprehensive than homosexual or simply gay. The initialism GLBT is sometimes used in the United States and commonly in Australia, but to a lesser extent elsewhere.
lifestyle BDSM /lifestyle-- The BDSM community can be regarded as a subculture within mainstream society. Being involved in BDSM or Dominant/submissive relationships on a regular basis is often referred to as being "in the lifestyle. Communities of BDSM lifestyles are prevalent in all parts of the world. Large cities and small town alike have organizations where lifestylers meet to learn, share and practice. These groups are often underground and can be hard to find,
lifestyle dominant -- A lifestyle dominant is a person who is assertive and in control of their relationships both inside and outside the bedroom. ...
lifestyle D/s --A lifestyle (an individual's typical way of life), where D/s is a principal element in day to day living, and where final authority for the majority of significant life decisions rests with the Dominant in the relationship.
lifestyle submissive --is one who enjoys and desires to serve, and actually be of service to their dominant outside of a sex
limits (BDSM) --refer to activities that a partner feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid.
Before a BDSM scene, it is common to perform a negotiation to outline what will and will not happen during the play session. During this time, all participants outline what they desire and what they will not tolerate. This is the time to discuss limits.
Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. They can be spoken or written, and discussing them fully usually results in an improved experience for all involved.
lotus tie -- is a bondage position used in BDSM play. It should not be confused with the lotus fold, another name for the Savage fold.
In this tie, the lower legs are placed together but pointing in opposite directions, so that each foot is near the knee of the other leg. Two ropes are tied round the legs, each round one ankle and the other leg just below the knee. The legs are thus held in a triangle with the thighs spread wide apart. This permits easy access to the crotch if desired. Sometimes just one rope is tied, half-way between the knees and ankles, but this allows more movement of the legs and may be easier to escape from.
Alternatively, the ankles can be bound to the opposite thighs just above the knee, though many people find this a difficult position to sustain for long.
As this tie only immobilizes the legs, it is normally combined with some form of arm bondage. If the wrists are tied to the legs, it forms a stringent hogtie.
The name derives from its similarity to the lotus position in yoga.
maledom -- generally refers to heterosexual BDSM activities where the dominant partner is male, and the submissive partner is female. However, the term is sometimes used to refer to homosexual BDSM activities, where both partners are male and one is dominant.
Compare with female dominance, also known as femdom.
male dominance -- generally refers to heterosexual BDSM activities where the dominant partner is male, and the submissive partner is female. However, the term is sometimes used to refer to homosexual BDSM activities, where both partners are male and one is dominant.
Compare with female dominance, also known as femdom.
malesub -- generally refers to heterosexual BDSM activities where the submissive partner is male, and the dominant partner is female. In this context, these activities are generally called female dominance, or femdom. However, the term is sometimes used to refer to homosexual BDSM activities, where both partners are male and one is dominant.
male submission --generally refers to heterosexual BDSM activities where the submissive partner is male, and the dominant partner is female. In this context, these activities are generally called female dominance, or femdom.
However, the term is sometimes used to refer to homosexual BDSM activities, where both partners are male and one is dominant.
The Marketplace -- a series of erotic novels
master (BDSM) -- is one of the honorifics some people use to describe the dominant partner or "owner" in a Master/slave relationship. Because it is an honorific of the dominant form, it is usual for it to be written with a capital letter.It might also be used by the submissive partner as an honorific term in a D/s relationship. This can cause confusion when trying to understand BDSM terminology as both "Master" and "slave" might be used - as terms of endearment - even though neither consider themselves to be owned nor owner.Some people enjoy the connotations of servitude or submission in calling their partner "Master", or being called "Master". To others, the ritual of such a formal mode of address may be appealing. It may also be useful in building roles in which one partner or the other may indulge in sadistic or masochistic desires, although people living as Master and slave are not necessarily sadomasochistic. Usage of "Master" in most BDSM environs does not imply any specific expertise, abilities or formal training. To successfully maintain a Master/slave relationship takes abilities and skills beyond or apart from normal relationship skills. The term "Master" can be gender-independent but is mostly used only in reference to males. There is otherwise no male-specific equivalent. The female equivalent is mistress or possibly dominatrix. Although the Master is understood to have authority over the slave in some sense, this never extends to one's legal rights and thus there must always be an implicit element of consent involved.
master/slave relationship --(usually written "M/s") in BDSM is a relationship in which D/s (Domination and Submission) play a major role.The term may also be used to refer to a Total Power Exchange relationship.The 19th century relationship of Arthur Munby and Hannah Cullwick was an early example of a consensual Master-slave relationshiop.
Maitresse Francoise -- is a publicly-known professional dominant in Paris, France.She is famous in France for having written in 1994 a book Francoise Maitresse, under her real name, describing her professional experience. This has led to her being a frequent guest of talk shows and interviews on the topic of BDSM on French television.
medical fetishism --is a paraphilia wherein the activities and paraphernalia of medicine are eroticised. Many observers believe that medical fetishism is the result of behavioral imprinting from childhood. Typical medical fetishism scenarios include intimate examinations such as rectal examination, gynecological examination, rectal temperature taking, catheterization, enemas, injections, the insertion of suppositories, menstrual cups and prostatic massage.
medical restraints -- are a subset of general physical restraint used for medical purposes. Unlike some other forms of restraint, medical restraints are designed to restrain their wearer without causing pain.Medical restraints are generally used to prevent people with severe physical or mental disorders from harming themselves or others.Forms of medical restraint include four-point restraints, fabric body holders and straitjackets, as well as less-confining devices such as safety vests, jackets, lap and wheel chair belts.
medical scene -- is a BDSM scene in which the dominant partner pretends to be a medical person (doctor, nurse, dentist). Such scenes may involve intimate examinations and medical procedures and equipment such as enemas, catheters, medical gags and gynecological examination tables.
metal bondage --(or device bondage) is bondage involving the use of metal apparatuses to restrain a submissive as part of BDSM activities. Other than the use of rope to secure a body, metal bondage normally requires careful preparation, since more extravagant devices have either to be built or bought from a specialist. The range of devices can vary significantly, from simple handcuffs or chains to specially designed chairs or complex bar linkages.
Midori (author) --is a prominent human sexuality writer, speaker, and sex educator based in San Francisco, California. Her writings and contributions have appeared in many books and magazines. Her field includes indepth knowledge in general sexuality as well as alternative sexual practices, including BDSM and fetish.
mistress -- from the Latin dominatrix, meaning a female ruler or mistress) or mistress is a woman who takes the dominant role in bondage and discipline, domination and submission or sado-masochistic sexual practices, which are commonly abbreviated as BDSM. The male equivalent is master. A common form of address for a submissive to a dominatrix is "Mistress" or "Ma'am". Note that a dominatrix does not necessarily dominate a male partner; a dominatrix may well have a female submissive.
mindfuck --is a slang term which describes a work that uses literary devices such as nonlinear storytelling and plot twists in order to present convoluted, yet not conflicting, themes. A creation is usually considered a mindfuck when a casual observer is not able to discern the true meaning of a work without making a serious attempt to unravel the themes presented or when the plot is incredibly difficult to follow. Special examples of mindfucks involve a single plot twist which completely changes the viewer's understanding of the events in a film or novel as well as the ideas it presents.
monoglove -- also called single glove and single sleeve) is one of the many physical restraints called armbinders and used in bondage play.The invention of the monoglove, under the name single glove, is often attributed to the bondage artist John Willie. He certainly did much to popularise it.Monogloves are usually made of leather, though occasionally other fetish materials, such as Spandex or rubber, are used. For do-it-yourself enthusiasts, denim can be used; it is effective, although visually less striking.
munch (BDSM) -- (short for burger munch) is a low-pressure social gathering for people involved in or interested in BDSM, usually at a restaurant. When available, munches often use a private room. In the UK, the venue is usually a pub, and people are free to arrive and leave within the specified hours. The primary purpose is socializing, though some munches also have announcements from local organizations. Munches often help those who are curious about the lifestyle meet others who may be able to help them become more comfortable and better informed. Munches can also be a place to get advice about or pass on anecdotes about BDSM experiences.Unlike a play party, most munches are casual affairs that exclude fetish attire or BDSM play, though a rare few include covert Master/slave interactions or other play. Some munches may have a specific focus, such as spirituality or whips. Others may be restricted to a specific group, such as women or submissives.
mummification (BDSM) -- as a BDSM bondage practice involves restraining a living person's body in a non-damaging way by wrapping it head to toe, or neck to toe, in materials like saran wrap, clingfilm, cloth, bandages, rubber strips, duct tape, plaster bandages, body bags, or straitjackets. The end result is a person completely immobilized and looking like an Egyptian mummy. They may then either be left bound in a state of effective sensory deprivation for a period of time, or sensually stimulated in their state of bondage, before being released from their wrappings.Mummification is often used to enhance a feeling of total bodily helplessness, and incorporated with sensation play.
muzzle gag - are sometimes used in consensual BDSM play. They are also a common prop in bondage erotica.
needle play -- is body piercing done for the purpose of enjoying the experience rather than producing a permanent body decoration. Needles, sharpened bones, rusty knives, or other tools used in play piercing are usually removed from the body when the episode is complete, allowing holes to heal over. Those who engage in play piercing may do so for self-expression, as a part of a ritual imitating mock tribal cultures, for the purpose of spiritual self-discovery, for sexual pleasure, for simple entertainment, raising awareness or relieving boredom. Play piercing as part of a BDSM scene can produce an intense natural endorphin high which can last for hours and can induce orgasm in many of the people who experience it. The experience of multiple piercings in an eroticly or spiritually charged context is qualitatively very different from the experience most people have had with phlebotomists in medical settings, in part because the needle is placed 'through' the skin at a tangent so that both ends are accessible, rather than 'into' the skin.
negotiation (BDSM) -- in BDSM community is a form of communication where participants make arrangements on each others' requirements, responsibilities and limits to find the best possible agreement.As BDSM is sexual practice that keeps to SSC philosophy, negotiation is necessary to set sexual activity within the boundaries of these principles.Activity within BDSM relationships requires trust, openness about most practices that may include risks. On the other hand, partners have certain needs which should be clearly defined in order to be properly satisfied. In this regard, negotiation is essential part not only when parties were not familiar with each other but also in case when partners have long-term relationships.Negotiation may not only concern a particular session but touch upon a more wide range of subjects on a BDSM philosophy in general: considerations on a lifestyle, the perspectives of the relationships, religious believes and many other issues that can be in one way or another connected to BDSM activity.Negotiation within the limits of BDSM practice can be performed either verbally or in written form. One of the most common ways to clarify all the issues concerning participation in BDSM activity is to make use of negotiation form.
Nexus Books -- is a British imprint of Virgin Books, publishing sado-masochistic pornography written mostly for male straight readers.
New Guard leather --typically includes both a style of dress and an affiliation with BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sado/Masochism, also called "SM") practice. Both the style of dress and the kinds of BDSM activities characteristic of a community may differ between gay, lesbian, and straight communities, and between Old Guard and newer generations of players. While most people who engage in the leather culture style of dress are also affiliated with BDSM practice, not all BDSM practitioners wear leather culture apparel.
nipple piercing --is a piercing, centered usually at the base of the nipple. A nipple piercing typically takes 3-6 months to fully heal. Some people have noted that they can take up to a year and a half to fully heal. It's recommended that if stretching a nipple piercing, the piercee waits at least the healing time of their piercings between stretches.
nipple clamp -- is a clamp used to stimulate the nipples by applying varying degrees of pressure. Its basic principle relies on restriction of blood flood to the erect nipple. They are often used in certain BDSM activities, on both men and women. The use of nipple clamps is often potrayed in the media as deviant or kinky sexual behavior.
Operation Spanner --was the name of an operation carried out by police in Manchester in the United Kingdom in 1987. The police had obtained a video which they believed depicted acts of sadistic torture, and they launched a murder investigation, convinced that the people in the video were being tortured before being killed. This resulted in raids on a number of properties, and a number of arrests.The apparent "victims" were alive and well, and soon told the police that they were participating in private homosexual BDSM activities. Although all of those seen in the videos stated that they were willing participants in the activities depicted on the videos, the police and Crown Prosecution Service insisted on pressing charges. Sixteen men were charged with various offences, including "assault occasioning actual bodily harm"
outercourse -- is sexual activity without vaginal or anal penetration, as opposed to intercourse.No bodily fluids are intended to be exchanged, and outercourse is therefore often considered a practice of safer sex as well as of birth control
OTK -- Over the knee ie spanking It comes from a subculture known as BDSM, SM, or S&M. It is usually used by a Dom/Domme to punish a sub (or, depending on which way you look at it, arouse a sub). Pretty much self-explanitory; a spanking given while the sub flipped over the Dom's knee, much like you would spank a child.Urban Dictionary OTK
OWK -- a large commercial BDSM facility and resort, which has been created in a large farm located in Černá, Czech Republic in 1996. It is well known for the large size of its amenities and for the parties it organizes. It is available to male submissives only. A large staff of permanent dominants or "madames" as they call themselves ("Madame Loreen," "Madame Nicole," etc.) rule over submissives. They usually wear what could be considered the OWK "uniform" of a white button-down shirt, black leather pants, black leather boots (usually thigh-high stiletto), black gloves, and black jacket with the OWK blue and red crest on the sleeve. Often they have bondage belts upon which hang handcuffs, chains, keys and other implements. Many variations in attire are seen, however, and the ladies have been known to wear everything from jeans to lingerie. Emphasis, based on commercial videos they sell at their location and from their website, tends to be on spanking, flogging and other forms of corporal punishment. There is also some very blunt and unsubtle verbal and physical humiliation, such as name-calling, spitting, forced ashtray use, and slapping. The forms of domination appear to be severe, with little if any sensuality or seductive qualities. Psychodrama does not seem to be a concept the ladies there understand or practice. There is reportedly NO sexuality or sexual contact at the OWK, and the behavior seen in videos seems to bear this out.The complex itself is extraordinary, located on several acres and consisting of many buildings, dungeons (possibly converted wine cellars), stables, horse tracks, and huge ballrooms. The furniture is primarily mid-19th century central European in style. The original use of the estate is not disclosed on the website, and the history of how it passed into the hands of the current owners, or even exactly who the current owners are, is unknown.The OWK has become famous and is now a support for many male fantasies of long term submission. They offer various "packages" of domination, from a day to a week and from mild to extremely severe, for a considerable cost. The OWK is an attempt at a real life creation of the places described in novels such as Exit to Eden, only it is apparently more severe and extreme.
pain play -- Pain play refers to many forms of consensual erotic play involving pain including spanking, flogging,caning, paddling, play piercing, and many others.
Pandora's Box (BDSM) -- is a famous professional domination BDSM studio in New York City. Its premises are a large basement facility in the Chelsea district of Manhattan. It recently (2006) absorbed another domination studio, Den of Iniquity. It provides a wide range of BDSM activities, including fetish and role play. Like other reputable domination studios, it does not permit sex on the premises.
Panic Snap -- erotic novel
pansexual -- sometimes referred to as omnisexuality) is a sexual orientation characterized by a potential aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for anybody, including people who do not fit into the gender binary of male/female implied by bisexual attraction. Pansexuality is sometimes described as the capacity to love a person romantically irrespective of gender. Some pansexuals also assert that gender and sex are meaningless to them
parachute (BDSM) -- a small collar, usually made from leather, which fastens around the scrotum, and from which weights can be hung. Conical in shape, with three or four short chains hanging beneath, to which weights can be attached, its resemblance to its larger namesake, and the source of its own name, is obvious.Used as part of cock and ball torture within a BDSM relationship, the parachute provides a constant drag, and squeezing effect on the man's testicles, considerable weights of 3 - 5kg can be suspended, especially during bondage. Smaller weights can be used when the man is free to move, when the swinging effect of the weight can restrict sudden movements, as well as providing a visual stimulus for the dominant partner.
Pat Califia -- is a writer about women's sexuality and of erotic fiction. He is also a bisexual transman and prolific author of essays and poetry.
pearling -- a form of genital beading
pecker/penis gag -- is a muzzle gag that has a protuberance on the inside that sticks into the mouth. It may be wide and flat, intended to depress the tongue, or it may be a large knob with an effect similar to a ball gag.
pegging --describes a sexual practice by which a man is anally penetrated by a woman wearing a strap-on dildo.
perineal massage -- the practice of massaging the perineum to make it more flexible in preparation for childbirth. The intention is to attempt to prevent tearing of the perineum during birth, the need for an episiotomy or an instrument (forceps or vacuum extraction) delivery.
Perv Park -- an annual BDSM convention and trade show in Helsinki, and the biggest single BDSM event in Finland.Perv Park - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
perversion -- is a term and concept describing those types of human behavior that are perceived to be a deviation from what is considered to be orthodox or normal. It was originally defined as a "deviation from the original meaning or doctrine", literally a "turning aside" from the norm. The term pervert is a person in a state of perversion, though this term, referring to a person instead of a behavior, is generally used in a derogatory sense. Perversion, or perverse behavior, differs from deviant behavior, which describes a recognized violation of social rules or norms (though the two terms can apply to the same behavior).
pervertible -- a term originally coined by David Stein to describe ordinary non-sexual objects, especially everyday household objects, that can be used sexually, particularly in BDSM play such as spanking. Some objects become so commonly 'perverted' that manufacturers produce and market models designed for this 'luxury' market. As their products are often modified (safer, sexier, easier to handle, more painful, etc.) the objects cease to be true pervertibles.
petticoat domination -- is a kind of roleplay or fantasy that revolves around a male being dressed as a girl in front of his mother, sisters, or in some cases, girls of his own age whom he had offended by his boorish behavior.There is evidence that forced feminization, where boys are made to dress as girls, has occasionally been used as a form of discipline. However, within petticoating roleplay this is usually heavily exaggerated, including elaborate humiliation and public nudity
pillory -- was a device used in punishment by public humiliation and often additional, sometimes physically painful, abuse. Rather like the lesser punishment called the stocks, the pillory consisted of hinged wooden boards that formed holes through which the head and/or various limbs were inserted; then the boards were locked together to secure the captive. Pillories were set up in marketplaces and crossroads to hold petty criminals. Often a placard detailing the crime was placed nearby; these punishments generally lasted only a few hours.
play (BDSM) -- the term given to taking part in a BDSM scene. It is a deliberate use of the word's ambiguous meaning - suggesting both a Play in the literary sense (taking in the roleplay aspect) and Play in the child-like sense (taking in the experimentation, gleefullness and wonder aspects). Often in BDSM clubs, "Shall we play?" is the equivalent to the vanilla "Shall we dance?".Play can take many forms, from a light session where two people get to know each others likes and dislikes to a heavy or lengthy scene between two or more committed "players" who know each others limits and are willing to push or be pushed at their boundaries. Many people engage in promiscuous play to learn about themselves until they have found the role they are comfortable in. Many BDSM couples also engage in play with either a third person or separately with another partner. It is almost always the case that these play encounters are of a non-sexual nature.
play party (BDSM) -- is a social event in which people gather to practice BDSM and socialize with like-minded people. The organizers provide bondage furniture, safe sex supplies and refreshments. Play parties may take place in a dedicated dungeon (run by a professional dominant), a private home or a rented space. Some play parties have open invitations, others are restricted to members of a BDSM club or people known to the organizers. There may also be a dress code (such as no street clothes), or restrictions on admission such as couples only or no unattached males. Play parties generally have a list of activities that are prohibited. These rules may be enforced by dungeon monitors (DMs), who monitor the play and wear some kind of identifying item, like a red arm band. Some types of play may be restricted to certain areas; e.g. play involving blood can only be done in an area with a clean tarp.
play piercing -- is body piercing done for the purpose of enjoying the experience rather than producing a permanent body decoration. Needles, sharpened bones, rusty knives, or other tools used in play piercing are usually removed from the body when the episode is complete, allowing holes to heal over. Those who engage in play piercing may do so for self-expression, as a part of a ritual imitating mock tribal cultures, for the purpose of spiritual self-discovery, for sexual pleasure, for simple entertainment, raising awareness or relieving boredom. Play piercing as part of a BDSM scene can produce an intense natural endorphin high which can last for hours and can induce orgasm in many of the people who experience it. The experience of multiple piercings in an eroticly or spiritually charged context is qualitatively very different from the experience most people have had with phlebotomists in medical settings, in part because the needle is placed 'through' the skin at a tangent so that both ends are accessible, rather than 'into' the skin.
polyamory -- descriptive term (defined by contrast with monogamy) for the practice of being open to more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time, with full knowledge and consent by everyone involved. People who identify as being polyamorous thus reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are always necessary for long-term loving relationships. The term is sometimes socially abbreviated to poly, especially as a form of self-description, and also at times described as consensual non-monogamy. It is distinct from polygamy, being rooted in concepts such as choice and individuality, and the two in practice have little or no overlap. Due to its fluid nature, there is no clear agreement on exactly how broadly the term "polyamory" can be applied.
ponyboy/girl -- a form of erotic sexual role-play where one or more of the participants takes on the role of a real or imaginary animal in character, including appropriate mannerisms and behavior, and sometimes a partner will act as another animal, or in a sexual context may take the role of rider, trainer or caretaker (or sometimes breeding partner). The principal theme of human-animal roleplay is usually the voluntary or involuntary reduction (or transformation) of a human being to animal status, and focus on the altered mind-space created.
posture collar -- is a rigid collar that is wide enough to reach from under the chin to the shoulders. It significantly restricts neck movement and forces the wearer to adopt a heads-up posture. Many doms prefer their subs to be "proud" of being under their control. The sub may be degraded, tried, or humiliated but they will not hang their head. Posture collars are typically made from leather, but may also be made from metal, rubber or plastics such as PVC. Posture collars are often decorated, and may include other bondage elements such as decorative spikes or D-rings for attaching restraints.
power exchange (BDSM) -- is associated with a submissive exchanging his/her authority to make decisions (whether just for a scene, or for his/her entire life), for the Dominant's agreement to take responsibility for his/her happiness and health.On a psychological level, much BDSM "play" involves power and dominance, in particular power exchange, with one person willingly handing over personal autonomy. This can range from addressing another person as "Master" or "Mistress" for a ten-minute scene, to a witnessed, formal collaring with a lifelong agreement which micro-manages the submissive's life.The latter is often referred to as Total Power Exchange or TPE or 24/7 or 24/7/365.
predicament bondage -- is the art of restraining a person by bondage in such a way that there is a limited number of positions in which they can be (usually two). Both of these positions are so uncomfortable or painful that they are forced to shift their weight or position. Upon doing so, they place themselves in the other equally uncomfortable position. The person restrained will try over and over again to find a position that will bring them comfort, but to no avail.
Prince Albert piercing -- is a common form of male genital piercing. The PA pierces the penis from the outside of the frenulum and into the urethra. There is also the "reverse Prince Albert piercing” which enters through the urethra and exits through a hole pierced in the top of the glans.A nerve bundle runs along the centre of the frenulum. While some piercers may choose to avoid the bundle, others do not. The piercing may be centered if the bearer is circumcised. Otherwise, the piercing will be done to the side because the skin in the area needs to be able to dynamically reposition itself.The PA heals more quickly than many other piercings, as the area is highly vascular, and the tissue being pierced is relatively elastic. Some believe that the frequent bathing of the piercing with urine, which is usually sterile, contributes to the healing process. Infections of Prince Alberts are relatively rare. Initial healing typically takes from one to two weeks, with full healing taking as much as nine months or more.Some men find that the dribble caused by the PA when urinating necessitates sitting down to urinate. This is not caused, as might be suspected, by the hole made during piercing, but rather by urine traveling along the surface of the jewellery. At other times, if a ring is worn that is too thin (this can happen if the wearer downsizes from a lower gauge jewellery to a higher), or if no ring is worn at all, an additional stream of urine may come from the hole in the frenulum. This effect may be exaggerated by different sizes and styles of jewellery. This is usually a problem only when using urinals. It can often be mitigated by either twisting the penis so that the hole is above the flow from gravity, or by holding the finger or captive bead against the hole, effectively sealing it off.A common misconception is that the PA is a painful piercing because of the high concentration of nerves in the area. However, nerves are specialized in their function, so the high concentration of nerve cells does not correlate to increased sensitivity to pain. Anecdotal reports from people with PAs suggest that it is not particularly painful, although psychological state, adrenaline, and one's pain threshold all affect this judgment.Most PA wearers report no negative effect on sexual function, and many say it enhances sexual pleasure for both partners (though female pleasure is questionable given the limited nerve structure of the vaginal interior). While the bearer can wear a condom without removing the jewellery, there is a risk of tearing it, so it is highly recommended to use a reinforced condom, such as the "extra-strength" variety of popular brands. Like most piercings, there is small risk of the jewellery becoming caught on clothing, etc. and being pulled or torn out. Unlike most body piercings, the PA can be removed by the wearer for significant periods of time. Since most men stretch their PAs, it is common for the piercing never to close fully once the jewellery is "permanently" removed.
professional dominant --a person who performs the dominant role in BDSM activities in exchange for money. Most professional dominants do not have sex in exchange for money, and do not regard themselves as prostitutes. A female dominant is known as a dominatrix (plural dominatrices), and the term is often used as a synonym for a female professional dominant. A pro domme is another term used for a female professional dominant.
professional submissive -- a sex worker who performs the submissive role in BDSM activities in exchange for money. Most professional submissives do not have sex in exchange for money, and do not regard themselves as prostitutes.Professional submissives are rarer than professional dominants.
prostate/prostatic massage/milking --prostate milking are terms used to describe the massage or stimulation of the prostate gland in males, either for medical or sexual purposes. The two terms are interchangeable, although "massage" is more frequently used when the purpose is relief of symptoms of chronic prostatitis, and "milking" when the purpose is the reduction of sexual activity or drive through removal of prostatic fluid.The prostate is a part of male sexual response, and a key contributor to male orgasm. Located adjacent to the rectum, it can be stimulated manually. Seminal fluids collected in the prostate are released during orgasm. Prostate massage thus refers to any action which stimulates the gland. Prostate milking more usually refers to the specific practice of relieving the buildup of seminal fluids within the prostate, and discharging them by means of massage without orgasm or ejaculation.
Psychopathia Sexualis -- a psychology book on sexuality by Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing
punishment horse -- A frame of timber, shaped like a horse, on which peope are e made to ride for punishment.
PVC fetishism-- is the fetishistic attraction to people wearing latex clothing, or in certain cases, to the garments themselves. Sometimes this is called rubber fetishism also, as latex is closely-related to rubber (the latter usually being thicker and less shiny, more matte). Latex or rubber fetishists sometimes refer to themselves as "Rubberists". Gay Rubberists tend to call themselves "Rubbermen".
queening -- is a sexual practice in which a sexual partner sits on or over the other partner's face, typically to allow oral-genital or oral-anal contact, or to further ass worshipping. It is common for this position to form part of BDSM, involving dominance and submission, though this need not be the case.
queening stool --is a device which is used to facilitate the act of queening. It is a low seat which fits over the submissive's face and contains an opening to allow oral-genital and/or oral-anal stimulation of the Domme whilst seated.
quirt -- is a forked type of stock whip which usually has two falls at the end (like the tails on some tawses). Sometimes called a riding quirt, horse quirt, or a dog quirt.The falls on a quirt are made of leather, buffalo, or cow hide. The core of the quirt is usually a leather bag filled with lead shot, the main part including the handle is often made from braided leather or kangaroo hide and is usually somewhat stiff but flexible.The old style horse quirt is still carried by some Western horsemen, and this is the style of quirt seen in the early Western cowboy films.
Pauline Réage -- Author of the story of O
ring gag -- is a similar device to a ball gag, except that the ball is replaced by a hollow ring. This is both safer from the viewpoint of preventing the risk of choking, and also allows limited access to the mouth.A ring gag will cause the subject to drool uncontrollably, this often being the purpose of the gag.
risk-aware consensual kink -- RACK, also Risk-Accepted Consensual Kink) is an acronym used by some of the BDSM community to describe themselves and their philosophies. It specifies that any activity between fully-informed consenting adults is acceptable.
rope -- is a length of fibers, twisted or braided together to improve strength for pulling and connecting. It has tensile strength but is too flexible to provide compressive strength (i.e., it can be used for pulling, not pushing). Rope is thicker and stronger than similarly constructed cord, line, string, or twine.
rope bondage -- is bondage involving the use to rope to tie and wrap the body as part of BDSM activities. Most modern rope bondage techniques derive from the Japanese erotic rope bondage artform of shibari, which was in turn developed from the now-defunct Japanese military restraint technique of hojōjutsu.
rubber and PVC fetishism -- the fetishistic attraction to people wearing latex clothing, or in certain cases, to the garments themselves. Sometimes this is called rubber fetishism also, as latex is closely-related to rubber (the latter usually being thicker and less shiny, more matte). Latex or rubber fetishists sometimes refer to themselves as "Rubberists". Gay Rubberists tend to call themselves "Rubbermen".
We hope this information has been of some assistance to you.